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m.e.s.s.a.g.e.13
jux watched finish mye DVD den feel a bit sianx.. den came t0 bl0g again.. haha.. went t0 hab a break and g0 t0 kitchen t0 sm0ke.. was tinking 0f mye relati0nships thing and was thinking when will i really n0rt get in c0ntact wib cigerettes again..
was thinking abt Jane bahx.. was thinking wad i realli wan.. wad i h0pe ferr is very simple de.. dun expect much t0o.. was thinking when shud i ji0 her.... she seems t0 be a very hard target and easy target ferr mie.. budd mani 0f her acti0ns sh0w ddat she g0rt mani things which she dun dare.. and i am n0rt a kind 0f pers0n who like t0 g0 around f0rcing ppl t0 do things and decide things unwillingly... i will wait ferr her and ddats ferr sure... budd was thinking ddat tym is running fast ferr mie.. 2 and half months left and she will be finishing her streaming exams so0n.. if i dun tell her anything den it will be until next year.. cuz during her h0lidaes she will be g0ing back t0 thailand ler.. haix.... i can wait until next year.. budd wad if i dun get pr0m0te t0 sec 5? i will n0rt hab the chance t0 see her ler w0r.. s0me m0re she is ddat kind 0f girls wh0 is very hard t0 ji0 her t0 g0 0ut de.. budd 0n the 0ther way.. wad if i ji0 her b4 she g0 back t0 thailand? if i really d0.. i really h0pe ddat her answer wud be a p0sitive 0ne t0 mie.. Afta waiting ferr qianer sh0 l0ng, i hab treated mye relationships t0wards girls lightly ler.. i dare n0rt put to0 much high h0pes 0n them cuz i scare ddat if i really get t0 deep inside and get a negative reply.. i will break d0wn.. jus like last tym with qianer.. 8 m0nths 0f waiting budd in the end.. nth c0mes 0ut.. haix.. can any0ne advice mie???? Afta smsing with Jane sh0 much.. i start t0 get t0 n0e her better and kn0w much 0f her things and backgr0und bahx.. her characteristics all this were jus the type 0f girl i am lo0king ferr... i relli wished i cud be wib her budd d0 i hab the chance or shud i say if she willing t0 giv mie ddat chance ferr mie t0 love her?
I dun like t0 lie t0 the pers0n i l0ve and especially c0mes t0 sm0king.. haix.. i brk mye pr0mise t0 qianer.. i t0ld her ddat i quitted sm0king ler budd in fact i hab n0rt.. ddat tym i was tinking if i really g0rt the chance t0 be with her den i wud realli st0pped sm0king.. it takes tym.. i was sick ferr 1 week when i tried n0rt smoking ferr 2 weeks.. i came d0wn with fever, flu. v0mit.. haix.. miserable... budd went back t0 sm0king when i g0rt a negative answer frm her.. i was sh0 depressed at ddat tym and brk d0wn ferr a few weeks.. and n0w is Jane.. ddat tym t0k with her 0n the ph0ne.. she als0 say she hate sm0kers.. sh0 i am trying very hard t0 quit als0.. its n0rt easy budd i will n0rt gib up.. i told her ddat i already hab n0rt sm0ke ferrr a l0ng tym.. budd in fact i am still sm0king n0w.. i dun wished t0 lie anym0re.. i jus wished ddat i can be with her and i nid n0rt hide anything t0 her if i can be t0gethr wib her.. haix.. mani things jux fl0w thr0ugh mye mind budd i really dunn0 wad i shud d0... pls...... wh0 can gib mie the enlightenment? haix... ha0 ler.. maybe ddats sh0 much i g0rt t0 say t0night bahx.. nitex.. i g0 slp ler..
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